三人行必有我师/Things I've learnt from being an idiot
大家好啊 Pairs的胡言乱语吐槽日记又和各位见面了
虽然豆瓣重新开通了小站的邮件骚扰模式 但考虑到这次的牢骚攻击性较强 就不群发了
贴在日记里存个档 供大家批评指正
English就不below了 中英文放在一起 也方便各位参考
What the fuck is with such high ticket prices for international bands in China? Mogwai’s 2012 New York show was priced at $33.35USD which is around 213RMB. Their show at Mao Livehouse in Shanghai at the end of November, 2011 was 260RMB. Not a huge difference. But when you factor in that the average monthly wage in Shanghai is around 3900RMB ($613USD) and the average monthly wage for the average American is somewhere around the $3,000USD (19,000RMB) area, you kind of have to start asking the question as to where your ticket money actually ends up.
请问每次国际乐队来上海演出门票都要这么贵是什么意思?Mogwai2012年在纽约演出的票价是33.35刀,折合成人民币就213块左右。去年他们十一月底在上海Mao Livehouse的演出门票是260块。虽然看上去差别不大,但如果算上上海和美国的每月平均工资——即人民币3900元(美元613刀)和美元3000刀(人民币19000元)——那就需要想一下所花的门票钱最后都去了什么地方了。<我感觉国外乐队如果到中国来演出真的自己一份钱都不肯出最后还能赚钱的按照正常标准来做基本是神话吧。所以事实是有些乐队还能不断过来演出赚钱,万恶的产业链啊。>
Why are bands coming over here to do DJ shows? DJ shows are usually pretty boring. DJ’s, for the most part, generally suck. Paying more than 200RMB for a DJ is insane. If you’re desperate for cash, book a venue, plug your iTunes in to the P.A, wear sunglasses indoors and act like you’re better than everyone and charge 440RMB. Dumb fucking foreigners will go.
Better yet, do it at a shit man made beach that is really just a deck covered in sand on the Bund. Dumb fucking foreigners love that shit.
为什么会有乐队成员要专程到中国来做DJ秀呢?DJ秀通常来说都是很无聊的啊<真理>。DJ们——说再好听的——基本都不是好货。花200多块钱去看个DJ打碟一般非凡人之举。如果你最近缺钱花,速速订一片场地,把你的iTunes插进功放里,在室内戴上时髦的墨镜搞得嚣张一些,然后门票收个三四百。外国友人们可喜欢去了。
更精彩的是,还要在外滩的人造沙滩上(一张被埋在临时搬来的沙子下面的桌子)做场这样的活动。我们可爱的外国友人们爱死这些噱头了。
If you are told by the venue/organiser/stage manager that you are playing first, you play first. End of story. Don’t get to the venue, sound check and then refuse to get on first. What fucking shit is that? You play the exact same set whether you are first, second or last. It really doesn’t matter. Playing first is the best as you get to set the standard for the night.
When this happened to us, there was already a really good crowd and the band was already set up as they had just sound checked. Then they had to pack everything up, keep the crowd waiting as we set up. It still hurts my brain. All so they didn’t have to play first, like there is some great shame in playing first.
如果场地负责人/组织者/舞台经理和你说好了演出顺序,那该第几个演就第几个演,没有其他。不要等到了演出场地,试音结束后再说什么不想第一个演了。这算哪种炒作方式?不管第几个上台,演出的曲目不都一样吗?难道第二个演了就会The Who俯身吗?我倒觉得第一个演能确立整场演出的基准,还能毫无顾忌地享受接下来的表演。
所以说说我们被换到第一个演出的那次,当时台下的气氛已经非常好,乐队也已经接好了设备完成了试音。然后他们再重新把乐器收起来准备离开舞台,我们也上台开始搭我们的效果器和镲片,观众们则在台下全程等待。我的木鱼脑袋实在想不明白,好像第一个演出是会蒙受多大的耻辱一样。
When is someone going to take up Andy Best on his offer to let you host a Chinese music based blog on his server?
有谁愿意接过Andy Best的接力棒在他的服务器上做一个关于普及中国音乐的博客吗?
How many more offers for really good shows are we going to keep getting three days before the event? It’s amazing how many times we get called on a Thursday night to do a really cool festival on the Saturday. Problem is, as it’s not enough notice – we’ve already booked something else. Do they set up the festival, make the posters, then realise that they forgot to book the bands?
还有多少场美妙演出是准备在演出前两三天才通知乐队的?有意思的是,我们总是像在星期四的晚上接到说“要不要演这周六一个超酷的音乐节“这样的电话。问题是,我们无法为此提前准备,我们可能已经在其他地方订好了演出。所以音乐节的生产步骤是不是设立本次音乐节,制作精美海报,然后意识到忘记要找乐队了?
Also, what the fuck is with getting offered a show because the booker wants a band with a white person in it? That is absolutely crazy. They don’t care if the music is good or awful, as long as someone in the band is a foreigner. It’s fucking gross.
We got offered a festival but couldn’t do it, and so we suggested a band with all Chinese members and the Chinese festival, held in China and run by Chinese people said no because the band was Chinese. What is this? Where is having some fucking pride? It’s insane. Just because a band has a foreigner, does not make them better.
另外,有人来找你演出只是因为你们乐队里有一个外国人是什么情况?不可理喻。他们只要求乐队里面有一人是外国人而根本不关心音乐本质的好坏。真不要脸。
我们有次被邀请参加演出但时间不合无法达成,所以就建议了一支其他的中国乐队,然而被这场由中国人举办由中国人组织的在中国举行的音乐节拒绝了,原因是乐队里都是中国人。这算什么?<racist啊!>外国人就了不起啊?!乐队里有外国成员,根本不能代表他们就更厉害。
Speaking about festivals, it would be nice to one day see a festival in China that doesn’t have the same line up as every other festival in China. There are a lot of bands here, yet everyone seems to be booking the same 5 bands. Can we give someone new a chance, please?
说到音乐节,什么时候能看到哪个中国的音乐节不再有同样的阵容呢,就算一天也好。中国有很多乐队,尽管如此,总有人喜欢找相同的乐队来演出。请给新人一个机会吧!
Why do promoters always seem to pick the same supports for international shows? Why not give some younger bands a chance to play on a bigger stage, to a bigger audience? Fuck the safe option.
But on the other hands, bands email all the bookers and organisers in your city and ask to play. Let them know about your band and that you are interested in doing some of their shows. Worst they can do is say ‘no’ – so don’t be shy.
每次有国际性的乐队来演出为什么总是同样的暖场乐队呢?为什么不给其他年轻乐队一次到大舞台去向更多人展示自己的机会?不怕出错不敢冒险就不会有进步。
但另一方面,乐队也应该给所在城市所有的演出预定者和组织者邮件以寻求演出的机会。让他们知道你们的乐队已经准备好并且非常有兴趣参与演出。最糟的结果也只是被拒绝——所以没什么好丢脸的。
How good is it that the Live Bar 7th anniversary show was free? It’s awesome! Most bars, clubs and venues make you pay more for a big celebration. But Live Bar let’s you come in for free, get free Jack Daniel’s and paid every band a guarantee. It’s nice to know there are some people out there doing stuff in Shanghai not just for money.
现场酒吧的7周年演出门票免费这件事真是大快人心,赞不绝口。大多数酒吧,俱乐部和演出场所都会在庆祝演出上收取更多的门票费用。但现场酒吧让你免费入场,享用免费的酒水,并且支付给每个乐队一定的保证金。在上海还有人能不为钱而在做这些事情让我感到十分欣慰。
Being on stage is such a small part of being a band. It’s mostly carrying gear, practicing, talking about the songs, writing, soundcheck, waiting around, checking in to hotels, getting home late, sitting around talking to your friends, waiting for beer. You’re only on stage for around 40 minutes a night, so why do so many bands look miserable when they get on stage? Enjoy it. Have some fun. Stop worrying if you’re playing perfectly. I didn’t pay cash to see someone hating life on stage. Fuck this ‘I’m too cool to show any emotion’ bullshit.
在舞台上的演出和做乐队的全部时间比起来只是一小部分。大多是一些关于提拿乐器,排练曲目,讨论歌曲,创作歌曲,调试音效,等待开场,酒店签入,深夜晚归,朋友闲聊,坐等啤酒的事务。一个晚上能在舞台上的时间最多不过40分钟,所以有什么值得在台上愁眉苦脸的呢?让自己投入到表演中把,不要再想我是不是演得超级棒这类问题了。没有人愿意花钱来看愤世嫉俗的表演<我觉得会有,但至少不会喜欢矫揉造作的>。“我太酷了,我们没法交流”这种观点毫无存在感。
Cover bands. Stop! Please, just stop. Write your own songs! You can do it. Just try. Please! If I hear one more ‘Wake me up when September ends’ I might kill myself.
翻唱乐队请适可而止吧!拜托了!写一些自己的歌。一点都不难的,一试就会。我感觉如果再听到“Wake me up when September ends”我差不多就要自杀了。
If you like a band, or promoter, or DJ, or venue or someone – tell them. Let them know. Send them a private message on Weibo, slip a love note under their door, It’s good to spread some love around and tell people when they are doing something you like. It’s really simple, takes 5 seconds and makes someone feel good.
如果你喜欢一支乐队,一位演出发起人,或者一名DJ,一个演出场所或是某人,就要告诉他们。在微博上给他们发条私信,在他们的门下塞张有爱的字条,让他们知道你的心意,知道你喜欢他们正在做的事情。简简单单5秒钟就能让世界充满爱。
I watched New Pants at Strawberry Festival this year and didn’t get it. I know they are popular and lot’s of people love them, and that’s cool. But when I said on Weibo that I ‘didn’t get them’ so many people just wrote that they have been together for 17 years, like that’s a reason to like something. My Grandma has been around for 76 years, does that make her better than New Pants?
我看了新裤子乐队今年在草莓音乐节上的演出,但仍然理解不能。我知道他们是大牌乐队,无数人喜欢他们,这很好。但当我在微博上说“我不是很理解他们的音乐”时,那么多人留言“他们在一起已经17年了”,好像这也是一条喜欢的理由。我外婆今年已经76岁了,所以她应该比新裤子更红吗?
多谢阅读!
Pairs
xxoo
虽然豆瓣重新开通了小站的邮件骚扰模式 但考虑到这次的牢骚攻击性较强 就不群发了
贴在日记里存个档 供大家批评指正
English就不below了 中英文放在一起 也方便各位参考
What the fuck is with such high ticket prices for international bands in China? Mogwai’s 2012 New York show was priced at $33.35USD which is around 213RMB. Their show at Mao Livehouse in Shanghai at the end of November, 2011 was 260RMB. Not a huge difference. But when you factor in that the average monthly wage in Shanghai is around 3900RMB ($613USD) and the average monthly wage for the average American is somewhere around the $3,000USD (19,000RMB) area, you kind of have to start asking the question as to where your ticket money actually ends up.
请问每次国际乐队来上海演出门票都要这么贵是什么意思?Mogwai2012年在纽约演出的票价是33.35刀,折合成人民币就213块左右。去年他们十一月底在上海Mao Livehouse的演出门票是260块。虽然看上去差别不大,但如果算上上海和美国的每月平均工资——即人民币3900元(美元613刀)和美元3000刀(人民币19000元)——那就需要想一下所花的门票钱最后都去了什么地方了。<我感觉国外乐队如果到中国来演出真的自己一份钱都不肯出最后还能赚钱的按照正常标准来做基本是神话吧。所以事实是有些乐队还能不断过来演出赚钱,万恶的产业链啊。>
Why are bands coming over here to do DJ shows? DJ shows are usually pretty boring. DJ’s, for the most part, generally suck. Paying more than 200RMB for a DJ is insane. If you’re desperate for cash, book a venue, plug your iTunes in to the P.A, wear sunglasses indoors and act like you’re better than everyone and charge 440RMB. Dumb fucking foreigners will go.
Better yet, do it at a shit man made beach that is really just a deck covered in sand on the Bund. Dumb fucking foreigners love that shit.
为什么会有乐队成员要专程到中国来做DJ秀呢?DJ秀通常来说都是很无聊的啊<真理>。DJ们——说再好听的——基本都不是好货。花200多块钱去看个DJ打碟一般非凡人之举。如果你最近缺钱花,速速订一片场地,把你的iTunes插进功放里,在室内戴上时髦的墨镜搞得嚣张一些,然后门票收个三四百。外国友人们可喜欢去了。
更精彩的是,还要在外滩的人造沙滩上(一张被埋在临时搬来的沙子下面的桌子)做场这样的活动。我们可爱的外国友人们爱死这些噱头了。
If you are told by the venue/organiser/stage manager that you are playing first, you play first. End of story. Don’t get to the venue, sound check and then refuse to get on first. What fucking shit is that? You play the exact same set whether you are first, second or last. It really doesn’t matter. Playing first is the best as you get to set the standard for the night.
When this happened to us, there was already a really good crowd and the band was already set up as they had just sound checked. Then they had to pack everything up, keep the crowd waiting as we set up. It still hurts my brain. All so they didn’t have to play first, like there is some great shame in playing first.
如果场地负责人/组织者/舞台经理和你说好了演出顺序,那该第几个演就第几个演,没有其他。不要等到了演出场地,试音结束后再说什么不想第一个演了。这算哪种炒作方式?不管第几个上台,演出的曲目不都一样吗?难道第二个演了就会The Who俯身吗?我倒觉得第一个演能确立整场演出的基准,还能毫无顾忌地享受接下来的表演。
所以说说我们被换到第一个演出的那次,当时台下的气氛已经非常好,乐队也已经接好了设备完成了试音。然后他们再重新把乐器收起来准备离开舞台,我们也上台开始搭我们的效果器和镲片,观众们则在台下全程等待。我的木鱼脑袋实在想不明白,好像第一个演出是会蒙受多大的耻辱一样。
When is someone going to take up Andy Best on his offer to let you host a Chinese music based blog on his server?
有谁愿意接过Andy Best的接力棒在他的服务器上做一个关于普及中国音乐的博客吗?
How many more offers for really good shows are we going to keep getting three days before the event? It’s amazing how many times we get called on a Thursday night to do a really cool festival on the Saturday. Problem is, as it’s not enough notice – we’ve already booked something else. Do they set up the festival, make the posters, then realise that they forgot to book the bands?
还有多少场美妙演出是准备在演出前两三天才通知乐队的?有意思的是,我们总是像在星期四的晚上接到说“要不要演这周六一个超酷的音乐节“这样的电话。问题是,我们无法为此提前准备,我们可能已经在其他地方订好了演出。所以音乐节的生产步骤是不是设立本次音乐节,制作精美海报,然后意识到忘记要找乐队了?
Also, what the fuck is with getting offered a show because the booker wants a band with a white person in it? That is absolutely crazy. They don’t care if the music is good or awful, as long as someone in the band is a foreigner. It’s fucking gross.
We got offered a festival but couldn’t do it, and so we suggested a band with all Chinese members and the Chinese festival, held in China and run by Chinese people said no because the band was Chinese. What is this? Where is having some fucking pride? It’s insane. Just because a band has a foreigner, does not make them better.
另外,有人来找你演出只是因为你们乐队里有一个外国人是什么情况?不可理喻。他们只要求乐队里面有一人是外国人而根本不关心音乐本质的好坏。真不要脸。
我们有次被邀请参加演出但时间不合无法达成,所以就建议了一支其他的中国乐队,然而被这场由中国人举办由中国人组织的在中国举行的音乐节拒绝了,原因是乐队里都是中国人。这算什么?<racist啊!>外国人就了不起啊?!乐队里有外国成员,根本不能代表他们就更厉害。
Speaking about festivals, it would be nice to one day see a festival in China that doesn’t have the same line up as every other festival in China. There are a lot of bands here, yet everyone seems to be booking the same 5 bands. Can we give someone new a chance, please?
说到音乐节,什么时候能看到哪个中国的音乐节不再有同样的阵容呢,就算一天也好。中国有很多乐队,尽管如此,总有人喜欢找相同的乐队来演出。请给新人一个机会吧!
Why do promoters always seem to pick the same supports for international shows? Why not give some younger bands a chance to play on a bigger stage, to a bigger audience? Fuck the safe option.
But on the other hands, bands email all the bookers and organisers in your city and ask to play. Let them know about your band and that you are interested in doing some of their shows. Worst they can do is say ‘no’ – so don’t be shy.
每次有国际性的乐队来演出为什么总是同样的暖场乐队呢?为什么不给其他年轻乐队一次到大舞台去向更多人展示自己的机会?不怕出错不敢冒险就不会有进步。
但另一方面,乐队也应该给所在城市所有的演出预定者和组织者邮件以寻求演出的机会。让他们知道你们的乐队已经准备好并且非常有兴趣参与演出。最糟的结果也只是被拒绝——所以没什么好丢脸的。
How good is it that the Live Bar 7th anniversary show was free? It’s awesome! Most bars, clubs and venues make you pay more for a big celebration. But Live Bar let’s you come in for free, get free Jack Daniel’s and paid every band a guarantee. It’s nice to know there are some people out there doing stuff in Shanghai not just for money.
现场酒吧的7周年演出门票免费这件事真是大快人心,赞不绝口。大多数酒吧,俱乐部和演出场所都会在庆祝演出上收取更多的门票费用。但现场酒吧让你免费入场,享用免费的酒水,并且支付给每个乐队一定的保证金。在上海还有人能不为钱而在做这些事情让我感到十分欣慰。
Being on stage is such a small part of being a band. It’s mostly carrying gear, practicing, talking about the songs, writing, soundcheck, waiting around, checking in to hotels, getting home late, sitting around talking to your friends, waiting for beer. You’re only on stage for around 40 minutes a night, so why do so many bands look miserable when they get on stage? Enjoy it. Have some fun. Stop worrying if you’re playing perfectly. I didn’t pay cash to see someone hating life on stage. Fuck this ‘I’m too cool to show any emotion’ bullshit.
在舞台上的演出和做乐队的全部时间比起来只是一小部分。大多是一些关于提拿乐器,排练曲目,讨论歌曲,创作歌曲,调试音效,等待开场,酒店签入,深夜晚归,朋友闲聊,坐等啤酒的事务。一个晚上能在舞台上的时间最多不过40分钟,所以有什么值得在台上愁眉苦脸的呢?让自己投入到表演中把,不要再想我是不是演得超级棒这类问题了。没有人愿意花钱来看愤世嫉俗的表演<我觉得会有,但至少不会喜欢矫揉造作的>。“我太酷了,我们没法交流”这种观点毫无存在感。
Cover bands. Stop! Please, just stop. Write your own songs! You can do it. Just try. Please! If I hear one more ‘Wake me up when September ends’ I might kill myself.
翻唱乐队请适可而止吧!拜托了!写一些自己的歌。一点都不难的,一试就会。我感觉如果再听到“Wake me up when September ends”我差不多就要自杀了。
If you like a band, or promoter, or DJ, or venue or someone – tell them. Let them know. Send them a private message on Weibo, slip a love note under their door, It’s good to spread some love around and tell people when they are doing something you like. It’s really simple, takes 5 seconds and makes someone feel good.
如果你喜欢一支乐队,一位演出发起人,或者一名DJ,一个演出场所或是某人,就要告诉他们。在微博上给他们发条私信,在他们的门下塞张有爱的字条,让他们知道你的心意,知道你喜欢他们正在做的事情。简简单单5秒钟就能让世界充满爱。
I watched New Pants at Strawberry Festival this year and didn’t get it. I know they are popular and lot’s of people love them, and that’s cool. But when I said on Weibo that I ‘didn’t get them’ so many people just wrote that they have been together for 17 years, like that’s a reason to like something. My Grandma has been around for 76 years, does that make her better than New Pants?
我看了新裤子乐队今年在草莓音乐节上的演出,但仍然理解不能。我知道他们是大牌乐队,无数人喜欢他们,这很好。但当我在微博上说“我不是很理解他们的音乐”时,那么多人留言“他们在一起已经17年了”,好像这也是一条喜欢的理由。我外婆今年已经76岁了,所以她应该比新裤子更红吗?
多谢阅读!
Pairs
xxoo
Pushing on after the popularity / success of the last one of these? Fair enough. Want it on my blog?
我看了新裤子乐队今年在草莓音乐节上的演出,但仍然理解不能。我知道他们是大牌乐队,无数人喜欢他们,这很好。但当我在微博上说“我不是很理解他们的音乐”时,那么多人留言“他们在一起已经17年了”,好像这也是一条喜欢的理由。我外婆今年已经76岁了,所以她应该比新裤子更红吗?
No real need to throw it on the blog, Andy. If people find it, they find it. But it's your blog so you can post it if you want.
Either way, thanks!
double high five with the ticket prices and the stupid DJ shows. We wrote a post in a similar vein (can I self promote?)
http://www.chinamusicradar.com/chinese-youth/ticket-prices-rising/
The only thing I take umbrage with in your shout out is the same support slot artists on repeat. For sure we agree that it's super boring having the same artists on the bill time after time, but when we actually look harder (and this only applies to Shanghai - there is no problems like this in Beijing), there is a pretty shallow pool to choose from (hopefully just a temporary lull - Shanghai's local scene tends to be cyclical). But yeah, if I see Pairs and DFG supporting another international show, I think I'm gonna scream :-)
哈
有些人是纯粹为了享受音乐而去LIVEHOUSE,以此为先,可以推掉其他的活动。而一些人只是作为工作外生活中闲情消遣之处,盼着能邂逅或者缓解压力。可当涉及到金钱利益,一切就变味了
阿起你怎么也来了 = =!
居然能考虑到中美人均收入问题!!!好本土!!!
lz
不会用微博
ls
Anyone can use Weibo. 谁都不会用微波。
ls真幽默
lx怎么看
我最喜欢Pairs!
Good to know your grandma is 76.I hope New Pants can live that long.
I hope Streets Kill Strange Animals 街道杀死奇怪的动物 can live long and get the support they deserve.
Love u Pairs!!
BTW,wish your grandma good health.
太喜欢小中你吐槽了,稳准狠,又讲道理!帮你扩散到weibo上去可以吗?There's an app can put long essay on Weibo
Thanks, Heiterkeit. If you can teach me how to put long essays on Weibo, that would be awesome!
支持下
看来,我的英语很烂... 啊啊啊啊啊啊,what a fucking day..
话是这么说的啊搞来搞去不还是一样嘛 不过给你塞一张小纸条 我很喜欢拍而死 #~#
'I didn’t pay cash to see someone hating life on stage'
不错不错,keep cool and don't give a damn, lol~
love your attitude
完全不认识你哟,看了你的文章就感觉很可爱很有道理的咩~
给你塞张小纸条XD
人生就是一条长长的,参差不齐的槽,浅的地方就吐槽,深的地方就卧槽。。。。
其实我是冲着中英翻译过来的……
Andy Best要终止博客了吗?
yo when you so you don't "get it", what is it that you don't get ? the lyrics or just their style in general. just curious
Just the style in general. What they're trying to do and why so many people like it.
Ussually when I ask people, they either say 'they used to be a punk band' or 'they've been around for so long!'
Live music is still perceived as a newborn thing in China. The idea of gathering modern electric instruments together and blasting out music in front of a crowd is cool and not many people can do it. Maybe that's why people rarely think about what the band is trying to do, rather, they simply appreciate some bands if they can stick around for a good amount of time.
New pants strike me as electric/ synthetic pop, actually i like them more because of their lyrics.
I am favour of the last setence. cool! leave the fucker alone.....leave the fucker alone!!!
> 我来回应